


hold me close (and baby don't let go)

by princessrosberg



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Angst, Based on all those rumours about Dele leaving spurs, But it's very light, Dele's a mess, Harry's a mess, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, So a warning for that, There's like one line that could be interpreted as non-con, They're all fucking messes, This is just a mess of feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-15
Updated: 2017-05-15
Packaged: 2018-11-01 01:58:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10911996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princessrosberg/pseuds/princessrosberg
Summary: It's hard for Harry to not give in. It's even harder when it comes to Dele.





	hold me close (and baby don't let go)

**Author's Note:**

> Bye this is a mess!!! I wrote half of this in college with people like everywhere so if there's things wrong with it I'm sorry. But do enjoy :)

It's nice here, surprisingly peaceful as Harry pushes his feet into the ground to swing himself back and forth. The winds blowing softly, nipping at the tips of his ears in such a cold way - but not cold enough for him to be wrapped up in a thick coat.

He's not quite sure why he picked here, the park just beside the training grounds. (He does know, really).

Harry just sighs quietly, keeps swinging himself back and forth gently and looks up at the darkening sky. He should head home soon - or at least text his parents to let him know he's out later.

He does neither.

He should of seen this coming really, all the talks around the team, all the news articles, the worried face of Eric, and of course Dele.

Dele who'd refused to answer any of his questions, Dele who'd slowly distanced himself from the entire team.

It was obvious really.

“Harry?”

And of course he's here. Of course Dele is here when he's at his most vulnerable, when all his walls are down and he's like a fucking open book.

He doesn't reply to Dele's voice, doesn't even turn around to look at him, just drops his head down slightly and pretends he isn't even there. But this is Dele, and he's more of a damn child than he is, so he takes the swing beside Harry and tries again.

“Talk to me.”

That's  _ exactly _ what he doesn't want to do. It's just so much easier to pretend everything is fine, pretend that the thought of Dele not being here doesn't break him. Harry's never been good at hiding his emotions though.

“Harry please,” Dele whispers, his voice so incredibly soft and delicate, like he's scared even just the slightest hint of annoyance will rip through Harry's heart.

“Why?” That's all his voice can manage, because it trails off into a whine and even that single word brings the tears he'd been trying so hard to avoid. Thankfully underneath the dark sky and flickering street lamp Dele doesn't see the shine across his cheeks.

“Why what?”

_ Don't play fucking dumb. _

“You know what I'm talking about.” Dele sighs, because of course he knows, it's just nicer to pretend differently.

“Yeah,” Dele says, and this time it’s he who sounds so broken, he who seems to be the vulnerable one that needs to be nursed back to happiness. And Harry is so close to doing exactly that, until he stops himself.

It's Dele's choice. He's chosen to leave the team, to leave Harry.

He makes a small sound of surprise when Dele's hand reaches out to touch against his own. Harry can't help but curl their fingers together, hold onto Dele's hand so tightly like that will make everything okay, like it'll keep him from leaving.

“Please don't leave me,” The words slip out before he can stop it. And Harry just wants to get as far away as possible from Dele when the sobs rack over him. It's embarrassing; it's a fucking teammate, he'll forget Dele when he leaves, still have his friends and someone new by his side.

It doesn't help though.

“Harry I'm not,” Dele stops, the silence feeling like an eternity before he shifts and drops down in front of Harry. He wipes the tears away from his eyes, not wanting Dele to see how  _ pathetic  _ he's acting, but more just seem to spill out. “I'm not leaving you, we'll still see each other when we go away for England, and if you-”

“It's not the  _ same! _ ” Something seems to snap, because the tears and sadness turn into frustration and annoyance. He tries to pull his hand away from Dele's now tight grip, but all it does is make him lose his footing and fall forward off the swing.

Dele's still got hold of his hand, and as much as Harry tries to pull away and overpower the younger, he can't. He gives up eventually, lets his shoulders sink in defeat and rests his hands against Dele's chest.

“You don't understand Del,” Harry says softly, this time completely ignoring the tears that slide down his cheeks. He can feel Dele's heartbeat underneath his fingertips, thumping rapidly from their little scuffle.

He tightens his fingers around the material, bunches it between his hands and looks down at Dele. His lips are parted slightly as he stares back up at Harry, his arms resting against the grass above his head. Harry tries to stop himself, he really,  _ really  _ does, but it's just too hard.

He doesn't see how Dele reacts, keeps his eyes closed incase the sight breaks him. But then Dele does the one thing he thought would never happen; he kisses back.

He whines against Harry's lips, curls his arms around his neck and pulls him closer. It's everything and more to Harry, the tears are still there, his heart is still aching but it's absolutely fucking perfect.

Harry pulls away gently, makes sure to press a soft peck against Dele's lips before he looks down at him. Dele's sniffling now, twitching slightly and frantically trying to blink back his own tears.

“I'm sorry Harry, I shouldn't-”

“Shut up, just shut  _ up.”  _ Harry hits his hands against Dele's body, emphasising his point. “You don't get to do that and then,” He trails off, the tears threatening to spill again, but Dele seems to catch on this time and sits the two of them up before he can. Harry just curls closer to the younger boy, his legs now clamped so tightly around Dele's waist with his arms wrapped around his neck.

He's so close to just saying what he thinks, so close to looking into Dele's eyes and whispering those three words he'd been holding back for so  _ so  _ long. But he can't, not now, not ever really, it'll just make everything too hard to handle.

They stay there for a few more moments, Harry enjoying every little last touch he can get, until Dele's pulling away all too soon and mumbling again about how sorry he is. Harry should leave too, should just say goodbye, turn around and go back home.

He doesn't. That tiny part of him he'd been hiding for so long takes over, and he grabs Dele's wrist before he can stop himself, pulling him close and leaning up to kiss him again. Its messy, uncoordinated as their teeth bang together and Dele catches his lip, but it's everything he needs right now.

He ends up going back to Dele's, forgetting to text his parents and ignoring his phone that keeps vibrating every 3 minutes. The kisses turn more heated, the touches more desperate and before Harry can come to his senses and stop all this, Dele's pushing in and grabbing at his hips.

Harry's not even sure how this happened, or even if he wants it to really, but it feels good and it's making him forget so all he can do is grab onto Dele and cry out for more.

When Dele comes he cries out Harry's name. When Harry comes he whispers  _ I love you _ against Dele's skin.

Dele falls asleep almost instantly, still naked, still covered in sweat and it's almost as if things are normal between them, like this happens every weekend.

Harry just drops down against the sheets beside Dele, rests his forehead against Dele's skin and closes his eyes. The tears fall again - though Harry doesn't think he ever stopped crying really.

It hurts to know that this will never happen again, that he'd been stupid enough to give in and let this happen, let his feelings grow and grow, but he just couldn't help it.

Harry rolls over and sobs into the sheets.

 

 

 


End file.
